Filipino Excuses

Naghalungkat lang ako ng mga e-mail na hindi ko pa nababasa. Ito ang aking natagpuan:

Filipino Excuses:

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. (teka.. teka.. Bawal minors sa death chamber ah.. hehehe)

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. (Huwat??? Na-firing squad si Lisa???)

3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28,29,30, 31, 32 and also 33. (hmmm... balita ko 31 ang maximum days ng kalendaryo...)

4. Please excuse Gloria from the Jim today. She is administrating. (Ikaw ba yan GMA? Sabi na nga ba't grade school ka pa lang eh.)

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. (teka.. ang alam ko walang manananggal na babae)

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. (ano? tinutubuan na ng ipin ang mukha?)

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins, (uuuyyy.. close kayo ng veins mo ah.. marami na yata pang-blackmail sayo.. hehehe)

8. Chis will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. (eh pasan naman pala ang buong lupain nila..)

9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. (cool... paano yun? ahhh.. ehhhh.. ihhhh.. ohhhh.. uhhhh..)

10. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre, dyrea, direathe, the shits. (wag mo na pahirapan ang sarili mo.. LBM lang yan..)

11. George was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. (ano? sumusuot siya ng fake bumpers at naiwan nya?)

12. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

13. Sally won 't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. (Ano ito? Back from the dead?)

14. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. (Aso po ba si Jason?)

15. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. (Ano? Pati babae nabugbog ng mga gangster?)

16. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a vever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night. (Teka teka.. si Maryann lang ang involved dito.. hindi ito family telenovela)

17. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. (Napakagandang excuse nito!)

Ang mga nakalagay po sa loob ng parentheses ay aking mga komento sa nasabing excuse. Hehehe!